Parent teacher conferences

This past week I wrapped up my parent teacher conferences at school. I had a good turn out, as I met with 10 out of 11 families in my class. Some good, most were productive and of course there were some just plain old odd things that came up.

In general, I think parent teacher conferences are important. It gives parents and teachers valuable one-on-one face time with each other. As a teacher, I get to talk about how the child is doing at school, what progress she has made and what some of the next steps are for that child. Just as important as all of that, I also get to listen. I get to listen to the parents share their observations of their child, I get to listen ask they ask questions, and I listen to their non-verbal cues as well. What are they "saying" about school by how they are sitting or standing? How does their facial expression change when I say their child is doing well with language skills but struggling mathematically? Do they frown or avoid eye contact the whole time? Are they eager to be there and showing evidence of active listening themselves? Do parents see the value? Is the information I share with them as helpful as the information they share with me? The bigger question for me is whether I can gain insight about the children from interacting and observing their parents?

While I see the value in meeting with parents and our principal encourages it, he does not provide logistical support to make it happen. We have to open houses a year and parents come whenever in the two hour block. Because of the open- ended structure it is nearly impossible to meet individually with parents during that time to discuss student progress. So because I believe conferencing with parents is vital to student success, I need to use my own time to do it. Conferences were set up for before and after school times and also during my planning period. Added to that was the fact that the parents perceive time differently than I do. If I have arranged to have a conference with you at 800 am, I will plan to arrive at 755 just in case I'm late. That was not the case. People arrived at 817 for their 800 conference and then wondered why I had to be extremely brief. I use my personal time because I am committed to and value the idea of working with parents, however, the net result was that I was exhausted. I was going in even earlier so I could do more work BEFORE the conferences started and so on.

One of the parents said that he and his wife were delighted with their child's progress. He pointed out specific examples and talked about how happy his child seems. It can be so rare to hear things like this from parents so I figured I would celebrate this comment by shairng it here. The purpose of sharing these comments is not toot my own horn, but simply to pause and reflect. So often we are unsure of the parents' perception of the work we do each day with their children, that these comments are heartening, inspiring, and helpful to me. Another parent said that her daughter goes home and sings our classroom songs and talks about specific things I said to her during the day.

A few parents seemed appreciative of my reccomendations for home. While each kid received individualized recommendations, if one parent does one of the recommended activities, it could be THE thing that makes a difference for that child. Go Parents!

One parent, who was a bot confrontational at the beginning of the year, was on board and open to my ideas. Her observations were similar to mine and I feel that we are going to be communicating better with each other. We now understand that we both have the same goal: helping her struggling child to succede in school. I was apprehensive about that particular conference but grateful and a bit surprised that we saw eye to eye.

Of course there are some low lights. The parent who came in her lingere and flannel pajama bottoms. The parent who thought I would provide free private tutoring before school to her struggling child. The parent who asked me what she was supposed to do with her child when school is closed for upcoming muchly needed Thanksgiving recess. The parent who couldn't be bothered to actually stop her cell phone conversation. Anyway, I do not want to dwell. I do feel that, overall, despite some low lights, it was a valuable investment of my time and effort. I know that I am doing my part. I have provided valuable information to parents on their child's individual progress and gave suggestions to how they can help at home. It was a lot of work and I truly was wiped out by the middle of the week when conferences ended, but it was all worth it.